Saturday, January 20, 2018

Contemplating the Four Seasons



                      "If I knew then, what I know now"--a phrase that looks back at the past like we were

really ignorant or without the wisdom that we claim to have now.  Like Monday morning quarterbacking

or I knew that was what would be the final outcome of the presidential race of 2016, or I knew I was going 

to have a bad day.  The prognostications of Nostradamus or the Fatima papers, the Book of Mormon,  

Darwin, Rasputin, Marx, Gandhi...  All prophets predicting the future; not saying they can change the past

predicting  the future looking into their crystal ball.

                      The difference  between a person who would have changed the past from his now all-knowing

present and the prophet who has a vision of the future is obvious.  There is a third group of people.  They

live on memory lane.  They are the nostalgists.  They live in the golden age of radio, or when trains were as

romantic as the Orient Express,  or when I caught the winning touchdown pass in the state triple-A finals

game,  or when I could bench press 190 pounds, or when I didn't have a wrinkle, or when I was a little more

svelte, or when I didn't make the scales read 182 but it was with my shoes on.  The last few descriptions are

not the musings of a true nostalgist.   A true nostalgic person remembers only the wonderful things and

events of a past life.  He/she forgets the exam they flunked,  or the time they wrecked their dad's new car,

or the person they are ashamed they bullied, or any bad trip memory.  The past is painted golden.  Pollyanna

chooses the wonderful memories.

                     When people wax poetic about their high school years, or their college years as being the best

years of their life, I am saddened.  What happened to the last 40 years.  Were they just filler?  Where the

appendix is four times longer than the story?  So their is a fourth type of person.  This person that is

grounded in the present.  He/she says this is the best season of their life.  When I hear myself saying this,

I'm not sure this is a bald-faced lie. How can one say that I can't do half of the things I used to do or if  I

can it takes twice the time.  How can you still spout "the this is the best time of my life" b.s.?

                      The bible Psalms and the Byrd's sing of  "there is a season."  There are 4 seasons and each

one should be embraced.  One can certainly love the past--dis or dat happening but to be in the present

and love it sometimes is a hard thing to do.  Still accepting fate is the secret of  happiness.  Another Byrd's

phrase from a song:  "Never hit bottom but just keep falling through just relaxed".  The idea of flowing with

the moment.  The idea of how we relate to something can make it good or bad.  When M had cancer was

one of the best times of our 33 years waxing nostalgic.  How you say?  One was the attitude we could fight

this together.  Two, we dropped all of the extraneous unimportant stuff like the dishes had to be done

immediately after b/l or dinner, the laundry had to be folded at once, the bed had to be made right when

you got up--you get the idea.  We just loved each`day to the max and were present for each other.  So even

bad things can be turned into lemonade.  There are some things that happen that are just BAD and no sense

can be made of them.  The gods are cruel.  There is no explanation--only acceptance can bring sunshine

to a rainy season
.
                         The fourth type of people have a subset.  These are the ones that are still building in the

present and making their dreams a reality.  Or perhaps that there are no impediments to their dreams.

If they have a spouse/ partner/ lover; they are supported in their dreams.  I think of friends that start

a family in these sunset years.  I think of the person that builds their dream house on the country property

they have owned for years.  I know the person who had a dream in his spring and is now set that goal

to sail.  To make one more deal.  Mieke and I-- The continuing gestalt  of  our garden.  It is never too late to

 build in the present.

                       These are the 4 types of people and how they relate to the 4 seasons.  They are not good

or bad types.  They just are relating to the 4 seasons in their own vision of existence.  Existence is a

wonderful thing.  To be or not to be.
.
                   

Time is a wheel of the seasons


                             Forever Circle                                                                21.

I saw a leaf fall

One
        Single
                     leaf

A whole flood of sobbing is coming

I do not rue the waterfall of colors

Happy I will rest for a short while

Possessed once again in a sowing madness

No time for depression

The oak leaves will be chartreuse mouse ears

Time to seed the corn patch

Again
            One
                     Single
                                    leaf

The hangman noose will be placed around my neck

A torrent of sadness

Now its ecstasy

Who can stop the tears

Who can stop the laughter

Who can stop the trees

Who can stop the seasons




                   The leaves come back then fall again.  Again, the circle of life


                              The Loving Grieving Circle II


The north face charges

Yellows reds oranges purples too

Tired flowers bent over wrinkled people

Begging for you not to fall into the equatorial sky

Fall autumn whatever you are called

Why ever do you leave in such splendor

To give death to your fruit and light

You leave us hope with fat bulbs sleeping in ground

    Different young  rainbow colors

These fresh promises we love and sing

Blinding us to your eventual return

Wishing believing our fantasy of forever spring

Swept away in tsunami rage

Fall autumn whoever you are

Why do you tease us  with gold sunflowers

Why can you not stay on Sacred Ground

Why must we pray for your pagan parousia

                       

                   

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